earth day predicament

I went to a nifty little Earth Day fair yesterday expressly to consult with native plants experts about the Garden Bed of Death, which some of you might remember as the foundation beds around my patio that kill anything I plant in them. Cruel, cruel Garden Bed of Death.

I am happy to report encouraging signs of life in the GBoD this year. The native grasses are putting forth some tentative green shoots. The purple coneflowers are robust. The American Beautyberry seems to have taken root as has another other shrub whose name escapes me. It’s cute, though, with little round leaves and hot pink berries in winter.

The GBoD isn’t looking lush, but I remain hopeful. I tossed some zinnia seeds in there last week and those are sprouting, too.

But just in case it all goes into a death spiral when the summer sun hits, I decided to consult some experts at the fair. The challenge: Full shade in morning, brutal western sun all afternoon.

The first guy I spoke to—a former colleague, coincidentally—couldn’t help me, though he tried. We talked about all the plants he had for sale and nothing looked promising. He wished me luck and I moved on.

Then I talked to a guy at the Friends of Oak Cliff Parks who suggested I try Cashmere Bouquet. (Remember the soap, Cashmere Bouquet? It’s not that.) He said it’s robust, it has an attractive leaf, a late-summer bloom and it attracts butterflies. It’s also invasive, he cautioned but, I bought a couple of one-gallon pots anyway—for a $1 each, it seemed low risk.

Back home I researched the plant further and found lots of people who are happy with it but also lots of discussion about how invasive it is. It sends out runners that evidently can penetrate kryptonite and one person said it smells kind of like vitamin pills.

Now I’m scared to death of it. The two pots with their puny little stalks lurk on my patio table, threatening to overgrow my garden, my house, my life. If I let it run rampant, will it kill me?

I am paralyzed. Do I plant them in the GBoD and take the risk that they will choke out the other plants making such valiant efforts to survive? Do I find another spot in the yard to plant them? Will they fill the yard with purple blooms that smell of vitamins? Will I have to spend my days fighting back the Cashmere Bouquet?
Last night, I dreamed someone (I can’t recall who) decided to be helpful and plant them in my GBoD. I was horrified, terrified, appalled.

Can anything save me from my new plants? What do I do?