rolling stones reflections

On Saturday night, Tom and I went to see Shine A Light, the Scorsese Rolling Stones documentary.

It was a lot of fun and by the end, I felt a little like I’d been to a real concert--kind of worn out and invigorated. We saw it in IMAX and it was a bit hard to watch at times because there were so many cuts and short scenes, but it was still fun to see Mick’s every pore, even if seeing Keith that close up was a little bit terrifying.

Tom was bummed that Mick seems to be a caricature of his former self, so full of jumping and twitching and dancing and mugging that it’s hard to take him seriously. And what happened to Keith? He is no longer the mystery man he once was and now seems like someone’s dotty old uncle. Kind of a rock 'n' roll Smurf, and a little sloppy on guitar. (According to Tom. I was not that discerning during this spectacle.)

Does every old rock band have to go Borscht Belt on us? We saw the Dictators a few years ago and they were full of shtick. Ditto Sylvain Sylvain.

Anyway, as always happens during concerts, my mind wandered during the movie, and this time I started paying attention to its twists and turns. I wondered…

Do Mick and Keith dye their hair? Ron Wood clearly does, it’s too black for reality at any age. Charlie Watts has gone gray and one camera angle exposed a balding spot on the top of his head. He still looks great. (Overheard after the movie, one plump middle-aged woman to another: “Who do you think is better looking? The drummer or Mick Jagger?")

Are all those excited young babes in the front few rows ringers? No way would these hot young things be all worked up over a bunch of grandpas.

What is that nasty schmatta Keith wears on his head? How would I describe it in a blog? It looks like it grew there naturally, like some sort of fungus. Does he sleep in it? Does it keep his wig on?

How does Keith find his eyes to apply eyeliner amidst all those leathery wrinkles? He looks like a dried apple head.

Are they really having as much fun as they seem to be?

Does Mick bother with groupies anymore?

Do the other guys ever get tired of Keith getting up in their faces? He sure does like to get close.

Did Jack White dream he forgot the lyrics or otherwise fucked up the night before the show? He looked pretty thrilled to be on stage with the Rolling Stones.

Does the band use stylists?

Is that girl in the front row anorexic?

Does Mick feel as silly as he looks using a guitar strap with the Rolling Stones logo on it?

Did Mick have liposuction on his bingo arms? They don’t look nearly as wobbly as they did when they played the Super Bowl halftime show.

And so on…